Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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