Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
