Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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