THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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