I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
