i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
