I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
