Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
