I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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