Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize