He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize