you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize