if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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