I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
