You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
