I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
