Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Soap is not a condiment
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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