I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
