Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
