I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
