i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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