I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
