Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
