You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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