it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
