she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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