I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
