I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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