Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
