Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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