my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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