these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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