I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
