someone get that fucking seahorse.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
