And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize