I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
