he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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