You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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