Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
