Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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