i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
