with your own penis?
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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