Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We smell like vodka and hangover
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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