His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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