she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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