Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Your cock deserves a montage
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
