You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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