If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize