There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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