Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
