Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
