I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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