Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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