Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
