So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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