if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize