she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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