saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
