If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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