i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm jealous of your bromance
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
