Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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