My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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